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Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here. Write here.

I can’t see any change in my appearance at all.

Nobody understands. I feel so lost. So alone. I have nobody. I feel empty. My smile Is a lie. I wish that one person could see, one person would help. My head is not how it should be, it tells me lies, talks to me. When I’m on my own I’m scared. Really scared. It’s because I’m alone. Surrounded by people who love and care for me and feel more alone than ever. If only they knew how dark the word is, how empty I am. I don’t even know if my heart is broken. I have no emotions. All that i am is fat. Worthless. nothing. I push people away because I know they will leave anyway. They always do. I push and push and push until I’m alone. Again. Writing so nobody can see. Praying somebody feels the same. I will never know. If people did know, if be attention seeking, over dramatic. A freak. How could anybody love somebody so broken. Everyday is like a dagger sinking in, digging deeper. Life gets harder and nobody can help. I was asked why I did drugs. I do them to escape. To have a few hours of happiness, fake or not, is better than having no happiness at all. They make life easier. The thing people don’t understand is when you feel so low about yourself you will try anything to make life easier to bare. People think I do this because I’m stupid or addicted but I’m not, I just want to be happy. Just for a while. I don’t do it for attention I just don’t know another way.

I make myself feel sick 😖